Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Clearing the Air (Part 3)



Continued from: Clearing the Air (Part 2)

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When she began talking with me every night, he began to realize that he was "losing" her, even though he never had her.   He accused me of stealing the love of his life at which time I told him that it is impossible to steal someone who has complete agency over their own choices.  I informed him as kindly as I could with the threats he was throwing at me, that she chose to be with me.  She has told me that he would always throw out comments about how much money he and his parents had and his ridiculous obsession with his body and how he looked.

I believed everything she told me about him, especially when he confirmed it himself by talking to me on Facebook about his body and how much he liked to work out.  He then started talking about my fiance's body and how much he loved it.  I will not go into more detail there about what he said, but it amazed me that a missionary who had served among these people for so long had learned so little about them and what is important to them.  My fiance's mom later told me that he thought he was "God's gift to the world."  Maybe he is . . . a gift to show us how not to be . . . as it says in the scriptures, we would never know good if we did not know the evil.

You are probably wondering where the family from New Zealand comes in and that is what I will address now.  Even though I accepted that the girl in New Zealand didn't want to talk to me, this guy that was living down in Ecuador would not believe it and began contacting various people from my mission.  Him and one of his friends would send them messages and speak with them . . . lying that they knew me and were one of my best friends.  They began asking for information about me, which should have been a red flag to everyone in New Zealand since they would have known everything if they really were my best friends.

This guy and his friend would lie about how they had just had pizza at my home and how I made the best pizza, trying to get in the door in any way possible to gain their trust.  Well, this family took the bait, hook, line, and sinker.  They then would tell the family horrible things that I had supposedly said about them, even though I had never talked with these guys.  As you can imagine, it kept getting worse and worse.  Lies would be told and mixed with truth to create overwhelming emotion that would be directed negatively towards me.  This was their plan . . . to break up my fiance and I.

The family in New Zealand started working together with these guys and tried numerous ways to get to me . . . and to try and "show" my fiance that I was not a good man.  I don't know if any of you have ever been blackmailed, but it leads to exceeding amounts of anxiety and depression.  There was nothing, at least that I could think of, that I could do.  I contacted the family and told them what was going on and that I had not said those things, but they were comfortable believing two strangers instead.  I informed them that if it didn't stop, I would be forced to contact local church leaders and possibly take legal action where possible.  The mother promised me that she talked to her kids and that it would stop . . . it didn't.

The guy that was so interested in my fiance has not given up to this day.  In the beginning he would tell me congratulations for finding such a beautiful girl in Ecuador and that he could show me how to love them.  In the back of my mind, however, I was thinking why would he need to show me how to love her if he couldn't figure it out in person?  I was also thinking it was a trap where later on he would tell her that everything I was doing was because he told me how to love her and I didn't need that.  Some people are so transparent.  This was more than 3 years ago.  The abuse has not stopped to this day.


Continued in following Blog . . .

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